“Yes mum, I remember Blackpool Beach, I got lost and you came and collected me from the ‘Lost Children’s Van. I had to eat your ice cream because it was melting. I thought I would never see you again. I had a nightmare which seemed so real. I was scared, but you came back and made everything right.”
It was more than a nightmare, I thought to myself, it was a premonition of a plane crash, a crash that made the news a week later. A crash that killed someone my mother loved.
“We had a lovely time in Blackpool didn’t we? You were a good girl, you saw way too many things a child should never see.”
Did my mum mean the regular beatings my fist dad gave her, or did she know about my premonition on Blackpool beach?
“You and I were close, we did lots together. We struggled through life on a hope and a prayer until I met your step dad.” she continued.
She’s right. I thought, We lived on very little other than love and the clothes on our back.
“Mum, I wasn’t very nice to my step dad was I”
“You were a teenager, he understood. He never stopped loving you.”
“How do I put things right? How do I feel good about myself again?”
“Live for the future,” she said “like who you see in the mirror. Treat people well and live a good life. If you do this, you will reap what you sow.”
I smelled Lilly of the Valley again, my mother’s favorite perfume. I was surrounded by warmth and love, but I felt my mother pull away. I wanted her to stay, but knew she must leave.
“Mum, I love you. I’m sorry for all I put you through. Are you happy?”
I couldn’t see her smile, but I felt it. “Your dad says hello. His heart is strong now and we go for long walks together. Don’t grieve for us because we are with you all of the time.”
She faded away and all I saw was the sun, golden and beautiful, shining through the trees. A new day was dawning and with it a new me. The demons were gone and I had my whole life ahead of me.
My first novel DEAD OF JULY is available on Amazon by clicking on the link below.
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