We sat and talked, Jeff, Father Angelo and I. No, they talked while I got lost in my own thoughts. Thoughts that I daren’t put down on paper, thoughts so dark, so alien to me that I wondered where they came from.
Thoughts that excited me!
I was suddenly aware that both of the men were looking at me. “What, sorry, I guess I wasn’t listening. I need some fresh air; I’m going for a walk.” I said.
“Not on your own. I’ll get my coat.” Jeff said as he stood up.
Get rid of him, he’ll spoil everything, I want to be alone with you. The voice in my ear was seductive, but insistent.
“Really, I’m fine, I need time to clear my head. I won’t go far.”
Father Angelo looked at Jeff, “go with her, she can’t be trusted. I’ll stay here and put a plan together.”
“I can’t be trusted?” I asked irritated, “seriously? What the hell do you think I’m going to do? This is bullshit!” I said and stormed out. Jeff followed me.
“Lucy what’s wrong?” he said, running to keep up with me. I didn’t answer.
Take him into the park, by the lake. Take him into the trees. Seduce him. I’ll take care of the rest.
I obeyed the voice in my head. I wanted to be alone. I wanted her to finish what she started earlier. I liked the way she made me feel. I slowed down allowing Jeff to walk next to me. “Sorry! My head is so messed up, I didn’t mean to snap. I’m tired and irritable. I know you’re trying to help me.” I took hold of Jeff’s hand and felt the tension drain out of him. Was I doing that, or was someone else doing it through me?
We walked along the path in the deserted park, towards the lake, and the jetty. It was a private place hidden by trees. “Where are you going?” Jeff asked.
“I want to sit by the lake a while.”
“Isn’t it a little cold to be sitting by the lake?” he asked. I stopped and looked at him. “We can keep each other warm,” I replied, “We can snuggle close together.” My lips almost touched his when I spoke.
Ohhh, he’s like putty in your hands, you have him, the voice in my head sounded breathless, excited. I smiled, I was enjoying myself, I felt alive, powerful even. When we reached the jetty I sat on the edge with my feet dangling to within a couple of inches of the water. It was cold, and getting colder. Jeff sat down next to me and took one arm out of his big black coat, wrapping half of it around me. I snuggled close to him, his warm body pressing against mine. I turned to face him. “Thanks for looking out for me.” I said.
He looked deep into my eyes, searching for something. I kissed him. At first he hesitated so I put my hand behind his head gently, but firmly so he couldn’t pull away. I wrapped my other arm around him, finding bare skin at the base of his spine, gently pulling him closer. His lips pressed on mine, and he no longer hesitated, but kissed me passionately. I could tell he was aroused. He pressed his body closer to me, a wild passion unleashed within him.
The whispering in my ear turned to a sigh, oh I want you , I feel you, I can’t wait until we’re together, ahhhhhh.
Jeff pulled back from me for a second, I looked into his face and for a spit second I was me again, but then I saw the passion and lust in his eyes and I wanted more. A force I couldn’t fight had taken control of me.
He stood up, pulling me to my feet, wrapping his coat around me with one arm, and caressing me with the other. I didn’t want him to stop.
Now, do it now. Push him.
“No, not yet, I want him.” I answered silently.
He is nothing compared to me, you don’t need him. DO IT!
I pushed Jeff backwards with all my strength, smiling as he lost his footing. I clapped my hands with excitement as he fell backwards into the icy water, banging his head on a rock as he went down. Then I collapsed onto the icy ground, locked in a passionate embrace with someone I couldn’t see. I didn’t care!
Lucy, you’ve taken your first life. Now you belong to me, how does it feel.
I moaned with pleasure, “I’m yours.” I whispered breathlessly.