The British sense of humor

The British Squaddie

Here is the next installment of  ‘Walk in the Park’. I need to start writing again or you are going to reach the end of this story before I do. 

The British Squaddie in Germany. Enjoy the photo, which makes me smile.  This was not the tank that caused the damage in Dortmund in the early eighties, but it seems this is the tank that was in the news last year for another incident.  Naughty, but funny! The British Army did get up to some tricks! I can’t help but smile because it reminds me of a young girl in her twenties in Germany.  Enjoy!
Chapter Seven

We ended up living in ‘Little Italy’ in Dortmund.  We searched several areas for flats/apartments, and never found a single one that suited us.  The Germans were a little bias against the British as the young soldiers had a reputation for getting drunk at the weekend and misbehaving (to put it mildly). 

Just before we arrived in Dortmund a couple of drunken young squaddies had taken possession of an army tank, and driven it right through the centre of the city.  Now although that seem like the funniest thing ever to those young men, and to most of the Brits who heard about it, including me,  (it was pretty funny). The local authorities, and the German people who witnessed it, were not at all amused.  The same German people had witnessed tanks in the town about forty years earlier in World War II,  and it scared them to death.  All in all, it was difficult to find housing for the British Army in Germany, and we all knew why. When we viewed flats in nice German areas, they were mysteriously taken before we could rent them.

So we ended up in Little Italy.  As well as Italians there were Turkish people, Poles, Greek, as well as many other nationalities I didn’t recognize. All of these people made the area a great place to live. The food and shopping were incredible. I loved it and I could have lived there for a long time, if not forever.

 The phone rang and brought me back to the present. It was Les, I was glad he rang because it lifted my mood from the awful death toll figures I had just seen on the television. He was just letting me know that some friends would be coming round the following evening to watch the game with us.  The more the merrier!  Watching the world cup with friends was much more fun.

Before I went to bed, I checked the fridge for beers, and took some chicken out of the freezer. Fried chicken and beer, we were set for the following evening and an exciting game of football. I got ready for bed, but I just wasn’t tired any more, I should have been because it had been a long day, plus I had enjoyed a couple of beers, which usually made me tired. I decided to open a couple of windows in an effort to cool the place down. It was unbearably hot. As I opened the living room window, something caught my eye in the street! 

Was someone standing out there on the corner looking up at my window?  I strained my eyes because the figure was on the very edge of the patch of light shining down from one of the big street lamps.  I think he saw me because he quickly walked away.  Maybe my opening the window had caught his attention and that’s why he looked up.  I felt uncomfortable for some reason, not sure why.  No one could get in the building without a resident pressing a button to let them in. We had security phones and I was safely tucked away on the top floor, but I still felt uncomfortable.  I often saw people that weren’t really there, I was used to it. Usually when this happened it was a premonition, sometimes happening in a dream.  I had often chatted to people who had passed away. I couldn’t control it, I didn’t try to, it just happened. Was this one of my ‘sightings’? Maybe! There was something different about the figure watching me from below, even though he wasn’t close enough for me to see him well, he scared me.  

Spray them in the eyes

When I went back to bed, I put a can of hairspray on my bedside table.  It was a weapon used by all ‘Army Wives’ when our husbands were away.  The theory was that if someone broke in and tried to attack or rape us, we would spray them in the eyes with the hairspray and while they were temporarily blinded…….we would run away. Or try to anyway.  No one ever told me it had actually worked.


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